Believe it or not, I can’t stand competition. Growing up, I was constantly competing. With various competitions such as the National Eisteddfod in Wales (Wales essentially invented talent shows), being competitive is a way of life, it’s in your blood. I did my first singing competition at 4 years old, and I absolutely loved it. Cut to - years and years of competing in any singing, reciting, writing, dancing, violin, swimming competition I could try; I loved it. It wasn’t until I reached University that I stopped wanting to ‘win’. Competitiveness felt like trying to get one up on someone else, and if you weren’t number one, you were a failure.
I still dislike competition, to me it feels like confrontation, awkwardness, ruthlessness. I believed for a long time that you had to be ruthless if you wanted to be a photographer, it’s such a saturated market, 80% of photography businesses fail within the first year, it’s one of the most expensive careers you can choose, blah, blah, blah. I’m sure these are all true, I’m also sure that I’m allowed to ignore all of this. I’m allowed to try and do anything.
I’ve always asked myself when I’m writing a blog post - why am I doing this? Who am I writing this for? Am I being preachy? Am I on my high horse? But I know why I do this. It’s because when I get those lightbulb moments, or break through a negative state, I want to share it with anyone who’ll listen. I’m just regurgitating the lessons I’ve pulled from various sources, and explaining my take on them. I’m hoping that putting this out there could spark something in someone else. It’s probably all down to the epic-ness that is ‘The Secret’ - it’s called that because for so long, it was a secret. People had all this knowledge and guidance, but kept it to themselves. I truly believe that this was from competitiveness.
‘Finally I have the secret to abundance, but I don’t want to share it with my competition’.
‘I have the tricks of the trade, but if I share them, then my competition might win’.
In comes Dick. That’s what she said. Shut up, Michael.
I’m talking about Dick Dastardly from the Wacky Races (who else!). This cartoon used to infuriate me when I was little. For anyone who doesn’t know what the Wacky Races is - here is a brief summary of every single episode-
-Multiple vehicles compete in a race.
-We start at, yep, the starting line.
-Dick Dastardly has the best car.
-Everyone else generally minds their own business and just concentrates on finishing.
-Dick always manages to get far ahead and then stops somewhere to set a booby trap for another car.
-He says lovely things like ‘Cheaters always win’
-This continues throughout the episode.
-A generic car wins.
-Dick always loses.
-Dick says something like “I should have won that race”
-Blames everyone but himself - he’s the ‘victim’ of the situation.
-The end.
-7 year old Rhiannon rolls her eyes
This infuriated me because Dick was clearly a clever man. His car was by far the fastest, he had the skills, the talent, all the creative ideas. But instead of just concentrating on himself, he only saw the competition- the other drivers. He was intent on f***ing everyone else over, just to make sure he would win. Babes, just drive normally and stop concentrating on what everyone else is doing and you’ll win every time!
I was talking to Josh about this, when I was infuriated with people commenting on my own life and choices. I’ve seen it so often. People don’t like to see you succeed, especially if you have been uncertain of yourself for a while. I told him-
‘Why are people like Dick Dastardly!? Just concentrate on doing your own thing and stop judging mine! Why do they care about my choices?’
‘Dick Dastardly?’
‘Yes, life is like the bloody Wacky Races’
Honestly, as lolz as my childhood metaphor is, it rings true.
You’re either a Dick, or someone avoiding a Dick.
(my brain currently - omg I can’t say that, there are just too many innuendos and I can’t stop giggling. Also my brain - people can be Dicks though.)
If this feeling resonates with you, you’ll also know that people like to try and take advantage of your avoidance of confrontation. Apparently, being peaceful makes you an ‘easy target’. But this doesn’t mean you have a target on your back, it just means that some people have crosshairs in their line of sight. This is their vision, not yours, and you don’t need to worry about it.
So what do you do about it? Do you just turn the other cheek all the time? Roll over? Well, for me, turning my cheek means turning away. This doesn’t mean avoiding the problem, it means having the courage and self-worth to move on. A lot of the time it takes more guts to walk away than it does to stand and fight. I surround myself with good people, I let myself be vulnerable, because over the years I’ve realised that my vulnerability is my strength. I don’t have the time to worry about other people’s negativity or trying to avoid their booby traps - I’m too busy living my own life, driving my own race.
In conclusion, don’t be a Dick, help each other out, concentrate on your own race, and enjoy driving along with like-minded people.
Things I want to share…
Books -
-The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (People still go on about this for a reason - changed my life)
-Super Attractor by Gabrielle Bernstein (Just finished the audio book and can’t wait to listen again - just wonderful
Podcasts -
- Shoot, Edit, Chat, Repeat (A brilliant informative podcast for photographers)
- The Ikonns (Two beautiful human beings sharing their wisdom and views with the world)
-Goal Digger - Inspirational people interviewed by an inspirational woman
-The Adam Buxton Podcast (Never fails to cheer me up)